I don’t write in a journal everyday, but I have accumulated many entries over the past 50+ years beginning in 1966. Some items evolved into longer works. Among the leftovers little pieces survived. I thought a collection of these with a piece culled from the same date in a past year would make an interesting yearbook. The consistencies and inconsistencies of mind, skipping back and forth across time, provide varied perspectives. It is difficult to remember the context of the past we’ve lived; we also make suppositions about times that predate ourselves.

The few alterations from original drafts were to improve clarity. The worst of my work is not included. There remains enough mediocrity and immaturity to make me feel humble and you feel smart. There are also moments of accidental insight and incidental humor.

Author Stephen Crane referred to his little pieces as pills…apparently they were small and somewhat hard to swallow, but good for you.


Comments Welcome!

Monday, October 31, 2016

When the way is icy


October 31, 2013  (I was 68)

When the way is icy
sharpen skates

When sand is hot on bare feet
walk at night

When the way is unclear
sit and breathe

When the way is lit by stars
admire the kingdom

When the way is overwhelming
be inattentive

When the way is billowed fog
welcome home
                   *
News Flash:  Incredible!  President Obama just endorsed my wife, Cheryl
Cook-Kallio, in her campaign for election to the California State Assembly.
A remarkable recognition of her dedicated efforts; congratulations Dear.

HALLOWEEN TREAT!   johnkallio.com
Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 


Sunday, October 30, 2016

from Harangutan


October 30, 1994  (I was 49) 

      from Harangutan
Young paleontologists spend four
months in the southern Sahara recovering
dinosaur bones of previously unknown species;
stories of predators and victims’ cases reopened
eons beyond the statutes of limitation.
Young historians working hard to become history,
elated to be a footnote, potentially a chapter.
The energy of adrenaline dims memory
of double fortnight jeep caravans
across treacherous sands more vast than
a capitalist nation and with threats as real.
Persistence brings home the bones;
the clever young scientists vow
this is only the beginning.
                       *
News Flash:  Incredible!  President Obama just endorsed my wife, Cheryl
Cook-Kallio, in her campaign for election to the California State Assembly.
A remarkable recognition of her dedicated efforts; congratulations Dear.

HALLOWEEN TREAT!   johnkallio.com
Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 


 

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Again more slogans from the bulletin board


Again more slogans from the bulletin board
–posted over my teaching years

I refuse to have a battle of wits
   with an unarmed person.
If it don’t make sense
   it’ll never make dollars
Children should be beaten once a day
   If you don’t know why, they do.
Hug your kids at home
   belt them in the car
The hand is quicker than the eye
   but only the nose runs
The first human to hurl a curse instead of a weapon
   founded civilization
Never fall for a tennis player
   to them love means nothing
Keep an open mind
   and people will fill it with garbage.

                       *
News Flash:  Incredible!  President Obama just endorsed my wife, Cheryl
Cook-Kallio, in her campaign for election to the California State Assembly.
A remarkable recognition of her dedicated efforts; congratulations Dear.

HALLOWEEN TREAT!   johnkallio.com
Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 


 

Friday, October 28, 2016

Billy The Kid (chapter 117)


from this week in 1969  (I was 24)

   Billy The Kid (chapter 117)
Hey, Billy the Kid,
you’ve got dust on your shirt.
Dust on boots is understandable
and you’ve plenty of that,
but on your shirt?

If you stopped just outside of town
to blotch it on,
I’m disappointed.

It doesn’t look blotched,
but maybe you’ve done it before
and know how to get it on just right.

At any rate, I’d rather believe your are real
standing there without a hat
at the water trough.

I guess your nickname had never before
stuck in my mind;
it will from now on.
You are a kid,
or maybe I’ve grown old.

In how many other places like this
have you stopped at a trough
to soak your neck cloth,
and how many times have you mounted
and ridden on with a quick nod to a man
who may have grown old?
                     *
News Flash:  Incredible!  President Obama just endorsed my wife, Cheryl Cook-Kallio, in her campaign for election to the California State Assembly.   A remarkable recognition of her dedicated efforts, congratulations Dear.  


Halloween Treat!  johnkallio.com
Go to AUDIO page.  Listen to my rendition of
Acquainted With The Night by Robert Frost  


 

Thursday, October 27, 2016

The way is walked backward


from this week in October, 2013  (I was 68)


The way is walked backward
along a mobius path
What was walked outward
forward is now the inner path
I was seen now I see
I was heard now I listen
What was scent now is aroma
I was felt now I feel
I had tasted now I have taste
No where is the tunnel there from here


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Can you get up? How many fingers?


from this week in October, 2006  (I was 61)

Can you get up?  How many fingers?
You got your bell rung.  Can you stay in?
It’s true.  It happens.  I saw stars.
Not stars exactly, sparklers.
Shit ya I can stay in
What the hell kinda langwidge is zat?
Cool dark night of my senior year
Took it on the chin, mighta been kicked
Part of the game, happen zall a time
Back in the huddle call signals for the play
really nice night someone carries the ball
Threw a block in there like I was suppose ta
Kept on goin’ and things took me with ‘em
Sometimes seems it was most real
Combined waking with reality of dreams


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

There are times the microcosm gets kicked in


from this week in October, 2006  (I was 61)

There are times the microcosm gets kicked in
and all is awash in blood light
Anxious dread that it’s too late
to correct a mistake of exposed weakness
Futility looms in the rapid patchwork attempt
to construct a temporary defense
that may not work at all
but may make time to think of something better
Then the persistent fury abates
as if the resolve of the invading force weakens
The dams hold with seams leaking
and we take our breaths in relative calm
to consider major repair to our small craft
knowing it will never be enough for all that’s out there


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Monday, October 24, 2016

Still more slogans from the bulletin board


Still more slogans from the bulletin board
–posted over my teaching years

Give me ambiguity, or give me something else
Time wounds all heels
Truth is the first casualty in any conflict
We are united by our doubts, divided by our convictions
When it comes to helping you some people stop at nothing
A verbal agreement isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on
I used to be lost in the shuffle until
   I started shuffling along with the lost
Consistency requires you to be
   as ignorant today as you were yesterday
I’ve done so much with so little for so long
   I can now do anything with nothing.
In communism man feeds upon man
   in capitalism it’s the other way around.


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Sunday, October 23, 2016

When did the first identity I might recognize


from this week in October, 2010  (I was 65)

When did the first identity I might recognize
patch from an ancestor unknown
even a single generation ago
part of  its soul into me
If they knew no one talked
If they wrote no one kept the script
If they sang no song was ever heard
I have not any art from them

HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of

Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 


 

Saturday, October 22, 2016

All the knowledge known and expressed


October 22, 2010  (I was 65)

All the knowledge known and expressed
cannot equal the known but unexpressed
So much written but never read
pictured or sculpted and never seen
composed arranged and unheard
fabrics woven never felt
fragrant esters inhaled but once
tastes of numbers and notions
found and forgotten a thousand times
images thought by disembodied mind
thoughts imaged by unmindful hand
Master work in the bottom drawer
of a cabinet in grandfather’s basement
If we find but one piece
we search forever for another

HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page,  Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 



 

Friday, October 21, 2016

Been waitin’ there’s a delay


October 21, 2006  (I was 61)

Been waitin’ there’s a delay
Expected arrival before yesterday
Expected very little and not exactly what
I suppose it’s supposed to be
I’ll take what I can get
but ain’t lookin’ for naught
Have always known nothing’s free
Try to stay out of debt
Hope to receive what it is I bought

Get somethin’ and it gets you
Own it’s what you got to do
Find a place to keep it and put it where
you can get used to using it
Let it grow to be a help
on a shelf beneath the stair
Ownership no excusing it
whimper a guilt repent a whelp
Give what you can and buy what you dare


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of

Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Thursday, October 20, 2016

What we have we have to give


from this week in October, 2006  (I was 61)

What we have we have to give
Greed is a seed that will not digest
No platitude can survive
the cynical appetite of gluttony
We eat each other out of fear
that we will be eaten

What value resides in the currency of the past
A few collectors pay quaint dollars
for essays on morality
written a hundred fifty years ago
when the land on which we stand
knew no one like us

The dream the adult tries to realize
is out of date before the attempted fact
before the bewildered eyes of his child
to whom the symbolism is obscure
The context inaccessible
as stilted dialogue from an old movie

Better to offer the silence
hidden beneath all our progress
in the depths of a cave or mineshaft
or under the weight of water
or within the darkness of space
unoccupied and un-interpreted


HALLOWEEN TREAT!  johnkallio.com

Go to AUDIO page, Listen to my rendition of
Aquainted With The Night  by Robert Frost 
 

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Buddha Masque #3


from this week in October, 1991  (I was 46)

         Buddha Masque #3
Right observation of cause and effect
disciplines the five senses to the power of will
Action moves in the direction of thought
Wisdom appears from the pure and peaceful mind
Sympathetic mind resists the evil heard
Wild words controlled arouse no hatred or anger
Impurity of thought is but a laugh to the old
The idea of fire is not a match for the will of the cold
Old snakes climb mountains the young would not try
If a bird has two heads one eats sweet fruit
The jealous other eats the bitter fruit of spite
To choose between demons is to trade the self for a corpse
Peace and harmony reside in the internal struggle of the mind

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

That man was thrown by the bull


from this week in October, 2010  (I was 65)

That man was thrown by the bull
The bull was thrown by that man
both passive both true

Monday, October 17, 2016

I walk the invisible dog in the park


October 17, 2013  (I was 68)

I walk the invisible dog in the park
It follows without a leash
Sometimes other people’s dogs
half know the invisible dog is there
There is no canine confrontation
My attention is invisibly occupied
Other dogs chase squirrels that can see
The invisible dog chases nothing
I do not know where it sleeps  I do not feed it
It does not arrive in the car with me
Many dog walkers bag the defecations
Many of us do not  I go unnoticed
I don’t know what kind of shit the invisible dog leaves behind
It is not my intention to walk the dog
I am here for the exercise the light the serenity
which I achieve only in moments the dog minds itself
Most of the time it trots alongside
close enough for me to count its breaths
It is not in the car when I drive to the rest of my day
The distant wail diminishes but does not cease
I’d like the invisible dog to successfully run away
Whatever path I walk I remain a familiar scent

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Mutual Mute-tation


October 16, 2010  (I was 65)

         Mutual Mute-tation
When you reach an age
they stop letting you change
Suggestions are treated with silent suspicion
Ideas encounter silence
and rebound through the mind
that no longer exists in any changeable way
You know they are thinking more
of what they will do
when they no longer have to be silent
So act alone on the changes you suggest
and learn to suggest them silently

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Buddha Masque #2


from this week in October, 1991  (I was 46)

         Buddha Masque #2
Round water in a round receptacle, squared water in a cube
To discriminate existence and non-existence is to suffer entanglement
Buddha nature is not the soul nor the soul Buddha nature
Though body and mind will wear away Buddhahood will not
Gratified desire still leaves unrest and irritation unalloyed
Yet austerity and cruelty only cause suffering
Kindness and wisdom follow Bodhisattva
who does not give way to greed, anger and foolishness
The old bent with age are messengers of the self to come
Respect their goodness and sympathize in their difficulties

Friday, October 14, 2016

Retired time accelerates


from this week in October, 2006  (I was 61)

Retired time accelerates
and its undertakings multiply
Urgency requires efficiency
All is immediate
The meditation that orders priority
is easily lost in the scheduling
When fatigue is ignored
and the pace persists
a coffee break isn’t enough
The breakdown that happens
disconnects all those with expectations
of immortality

Thursday, October 13, 2016

8 days later


October 13, 2013  (I was 68)

         8 days later
To come down the stairs
not of independent volition
is a demanding revelation
not whole and immediate
but of considered expansion
well after the fact of the act
The initial realization of survival
is quickly followed by truth of insecurity
The assessed relief no major damage
and a few deep breaths acknowledge the grace
of an occasion of good fortune
Then a shift of attention to minor immediacies
There are abrasions contusions and sprains
blood to stop ointments and bandages to apply
while the considerations begin to focus
The implications insistently apparent
alone in the house in the night
mobile phones out of reach if I were immobile
Then the ibuprofen and extra pillows
the ice bag moved from station to station
with an amalgam of prayerful incantation
Curses at careless unawareness
Hesitant tear of self-pity lost
in a grander wakefulness as I dropped to sleep
Night aroused the deeper pains
Aches of bounced muscles and yanked sinew
arm shoulder hip knee and ankle
presented during my dawn walk
knowledge now that a recurring concept
would wait atop every stair