Ollie and Stanley at the Studio

September 22, 2010  (I was 65)

                               Ollie and Stanley at the Studio

Ollie:  in disgust, Look at us; Stanley does so.  I can not get us a contract with the studio. 

Stanley:  I think you can, emphasizing the I.

Ollie: I could not even get in the door; Stanley stares blankly at Ollie’s girth.  I was speaking figuratively, emphasizing the figuratively.  I could not get an appointment.

Stanley:  I think you could, emphasizing the you.

Ollie: I could not.  They see only agents.  We have no money for an agent.

Stanley:  You could be our agent.

Ollie:  I am not an agent.  I do not have the experience.

Stanley: What are you?

Ollie:  pauses, I am an actor, emphasizing the actor.

Stanley:  Act like an agent.

Ollie:  How does an agent act?

Stanley:  Exactly the question an actor should ask. 

            Ollie smiles intrigued, drumming his finger tips on his chest.

Cut to a cleaned and polished Ollie as he is ushered into the office of a studio executive.  Stanley follows exhibiting quiet curiosity. 

Executive: reads Ollie’s business card, Oliver Olivier, Talent Agent.  Never heard of you, who do you represent?

Ollie:  Abroad, I represent a guild of noted thespians; to Hollywood, I bring the team of Laurel and Hardy.

Executive:  Never heard of them; he indicates Stanley, And who is this?

Ollie:  The pair perform in all genres.  This is Stanley Laurel of said duo, also my partner.  I am Hardy. 

Executive:  I can see that.

Ollie:  I mean, I am Oliver Hardy.

Executive:  I thought your name was Oliver Olivier.

Ollie:  That’s my agensorial name, so to speak.

Executive:  What sort of act do you do?

Ollie:  Though we’ve played every endeavor of the theatre arts, I am often typecast as a sophisticated gentleman of means, with Stanley as my gentleman’s gentleman.  Stanley brushes off the shoulders of Ollie’s jacket.  Mr. Laurel has played Watson to my Holmes –though that seemed to create some audience confusion.  In Chatacqua revue we did Socratic dialogues, highly esoteric and highly regarded.

         Throughout, Stanley performs subtle expressions, bits of mime, all conveying support for Ollie.

Executive:  Why should I contract you.  Your story is the same as every          potential waiter in town.

Ollie:  We work cheap.

Stanley:  He works cheap; I work for nothing.  Ollie smacks Stanley with his hat. 

Ollie:  I thought we agreed that you’d shut up and leave the agenting to me. Stanley is forlorn.

Stanley:  But Ollie, you are not telling Mr. Executive the most important thing.   
to the Executive:  Ollie is seriously funny.  In any role he plays, emphasizing the any.  Ollie turns crimson.  He is irate and attempts to shove Stanley behind him.

Ollie:  I have never played a clown, never the buffoon, naught the joker.  I do not say funny things.

Stanley:  calmly, No, you say things funny.

Ollie:  Stanley, you irritate me in places I cannot discuss.

Executive:  I get the idea.  You’re hired.  I want twelve of those bits, fifteen minutes each, in the next three months.  Standard contract will be in the mail.  Miss Pool will show you out.  Next please.

Outside the studio gate:

Stanley:  And you said you didn’t know how to be an agent. 

Ollie:  I don’t know how to be an agent.  That, was acting.

-I began a series of pieces using Laurel and Hardy as

representations of right brain and left brain perception.

Not an original idea, I got it from Colin Wilson’s study,

Frankenstein’s Castle.  More appear in other posts.