I don’t write in a journal everyday, but I have accumulated many entries over the past 50+ years beginning in 1966. Some items evolved into longer works. Among the leftovers little pieces survived. I thought a collection of these with a piece culled from the same date in a past year would make an interesting yearbook. The consistencies and inconsistencies of mind, skipping back and forth across time, provide varied perspectives. It is difficult to remember the context of the past we’ve lived; we also make suppositions about times that predate ourselves.

The few alterations from original drafts were to improve clarity. The worst of my work is not included. There remains enough mediocrity and immaturity to make me feel humble and you feel smart. There are also moments of accidental insight and incidental humor.

Author Stephen Crane referred to his little pieces as pills…apparently they were small and somewhat hard to swallow, but good for you.


Comments Welcome!

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

survival info


April 30, posted over the years  (I was so much older then…)
more slogans from the 8th grade bulletin board

            survival info
Flattery is alright if you don’t inhale
Those searching for the key to life seldom try the knob
To not desire the forbidden is to desire the impossible
Never offend with style when you can offend with substance
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity
Knowing the tricks is not all to knowing the trade
Thick skin is a gift of the gods
He who laughs last thinks slowest
The difference between ignorance and apathy?  I don’t know and I don’t care
One of these days is none of these days
Move over and let the big dog eat
Shut up and dance
The vulture flies with carrion luggage
I’d rather be being

Monday, April 29, 2019

April Showers of 1969 -or droplets of some kind


from the month of April, 1969  (I was 24)

            April Showers of 1969 -or droplets of some kind
               -journal scribbles this month
Linking verbs have no connotations.  4/7
Someone on 60 Minutes said, “If we didn’t have funerals
we’d never know when to stop crying.”  4/7
Being bitter is work, also as ridiculous as being agreeable.  4/9
We love to lean near the edge; we do not fear that we may fall,
but rather that we may fall eternally.  4/10
Singing, cockles and mussels, saliva salivo. 4/10
I’m tired of having to cope with people who could even imagine me
being dangerous.  4/13
There he stood in his Florentine whimsy, spelling smile with his teeth. 4/13
Paths are clear; the one I’m on is blotched with horse shit
as far as I can see. 4/22
Achilles, your mother was extremely stupid. 4/24
Polarity interests me, and me. 4/24
Rip off a cheer for good beer 4/24
Oh ladies of the Amazon
will you please put pajamas on? 4/25
A most valuable lesson teaches the difference
between explication and impliction.  4/25
I sit in calm and suddenly fear
I might become content  4/25

Sunday, April 28, 2019

This is 1977 and I’ve got detergent in the cranium


from this week in April, 1977  (I was 32)

This is 1977 and I’ve got detergent in the cranium
I’m not paying enough attention to my eye muscles
I don’t have any money
Vaseline in the pocketbook
Oil leaking out of my rear end.
Personal relationships are hesitant
I’m putting a brick in the toilet tank;
The neighbor is watering his lawn.
There must be someway to buy our way out of this drought;
Who do we have to pay?
Arabs? Cubans? Columbians?
Can’t we buy something from England or France
Besides that big plane?

Saturday, April 27, 2019

mobius strip


April 27, 2014  (I was 69)

                        mobius strip
What comes around goes around it’s been said
get it in your head before it spirals around again
from another bend in the track
moon at your back and sun in your eyes
run while it sets and hear the night rise
You could be tore out of earth like iron ore
giving birth to a car that takes you far away
to where unreality is made reel and you feel
queasy from the smog and uneasy from the jog
and old and trashy all at once at first
Hollywood is fun and scary for any Curly Moe or Larry

Friday, April 26, 2019

I had an agnostic friend


April 26, 2008  (I was 63)

I had an agnostic friend
When we were together he spoke incessantly
It was as if it was all he knew what to do
We went on a long drive
He’d say Snow on the mountains
when anyone in the car could see the snow
Shredded tires all over the highway
Contrails crisscrossing the sky
must be Air Force maneuvers
Gas cheaper in Carolina than California
Third dead dog in the last ten miles
wonder if they got hit or just jumped out of trucks
Damn potholes are three feet across
whole infrastructure is going to hell
Saw this thing on PBS said within ten years
we’d be able to paint solar panels on almost anything
They’re putting silicon cells in the paint
and algae is gonna end up the best source for ethanol
cause it reproduces so fast and is harvested from
pond scum
I said why don’t you just be quiet  He looked at me and said 
And that won’t bother you the silence
No I said  Thank God he said
And has never spoken to me again

Thursday, April 25, 2019

silent as the door to the cellar


April 25, 1970  (I was 25)

silent as the door to the cellar
as open as the night
a deep with teeth like stairs
the future shows us nothing
more carefully than its nothing
we remember nothing that we knew
of cellar dark before and
just a single step from knowing more

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Infamous Quotes


More from the 8th grade bulletin board
-posted over the years to 1966-2003

            Infamous Quotes
Life goes on within you and without you.  George the Beatle
I yam what I yam.  Popeye the sailor
Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Newman the pianist
Money doesn’t talk, it swears. Dylan the Zimmerman
I used to be disgusted.  Now I try to be amused.  Elvis the Costello
Art is the lie that reveals the truth.  Picasso the cubist
Changes in latitude, changes in attitude.   Buffett the pirate
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. S. Johnson the Brit.
Take a picture, it lasts longer.  F Stop Fitzgerald the photo-novelist
I butchered rocks to free the men inside.  Michelangelo the quarryman
We have enough youth, where’s the Fountain of Smart?  Dunce de Leon
Like other surrealists, I am not a surrealist.  sign in a Salvador deli

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

One of my students told me his father


from this week in April, 1969  (I was 24)

One of my students told me his father
thinks I’m a twenty-four year old adolescent.  Who
better to teach eighth-graders than an adolescent
with a college education and at least bright enough to
deceive the State Department of Teacher Credentialing?

Monday, April 22, 2019

It is necessary to separate


from this week in April, 1999  (I was 54)

It is necessary to separate
knowing and being 
to perceive the balance
existent within their wisdoms.

Knowing is the ability
to take enough time
to see expressionist silhouettes
of leaf and branch upon cloud lit sky

after sunset on a June night,
insistent silhouettes
concocted of beasts and myths
of our own conception.

Knowing is the ability to take time to see               
the interaction of silhouette and thought
acknowledged as reality
in the environment of now.

To be is to assume position
among the interacting silhouettes
in the reality of the illusion
of the moment that is now.

It is necessary to separate
moon from cloud, beast from tree
necessary to realize                                 
where we stand is what we see.

It helps to take the kinks out
come to accept the effect of dents
check for leaks
read the charts and move on.

Reflections off a bathroom mirror
can blind the young.
And only refractions of life
Illuminate the eyes of the old.

A new mind needs milestones,
reminders of where it’s been
on a geography to where it’s going.
Later we are satisfied to know

we are as good as there.
I’m not concerned that yesterday
be remembered tomorrow
as it is remembered today.

I am concerned
about our perceptive abilities
to support our testimony
that yesterday ever existed at all.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

For nearly one hundred years


April 21, 2014  (I was 69)

For nearly one hundred years
commercial luau dancers of Hawaii
have performed a traditional program
touring the Polynesian Islands
representing each with a dance
punctuated with drums
and protruding tongues of Samoans
Then the fire batons
ignite the rum in all the mai-tais
the incense of distant memory
the fire that dances in all of us
It no longer matters how genuine the tale
the repetition has married us to the myth
The hands the feet and the motion
convey the reality of real dancers today
The smoke disappears to where it always goes
and we cheer the performance

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Cannabis


from this week in April, 2014  (I was 69)

Cannabis
for me has always been the gatekeeper
the smoky entrance to doors of perception
the mind changer that made reality
of fantasy in the woods
and imaginings under the stars
confirming the actualities of existence
that put the daily grind in perspective
And in that knowing time of clarity
to write to paint to sculpt to strum to dance to think
the obvious which is so often invisible
in its own transparency

Friday, April 19, 2019

I am a body rhythm man


April 19, 1970  (I was 25)

I am a body rhythm man
pulse you a poem
shiver you same
flash you a funny
cough you a couplet
twitch in tetrameter
and ache in absurdity

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Deer flees


from this week in April, 1974  (I was 29)

Deer flees
Nijinski through the trees
wide eyes look once
The old buck runs
wet black woods at night
Knowledge has made him fragile
passion and arrows agile

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Evening Stroll


April 17, 2009  (I was 64)

         Evening Stroll
I walk a few paces behind
Your voice drifts back
Mine never catches up
Once we walked abreast
Now the path doesn’t seem so wide
the sound of our footfalls not in sync
I am unaware of your breath
as you are of mine
Our shadows still dance together
a tall then small tango
between the intermittent street lights

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Even in the short plank of common wood


from this week in April, 1999  (I was 54)

Even in the short plank of common wood
lessons might be read in the grain,
hard and tight, soft and wide, dark or light. 
How it might age or take a stain,
be burnished by use to common good.

Monday, April 15, 2019

I knew the only way to escape


April 15, 2017  (I was 72)

I knew the only way to escape
was to go to jail so I did
minimum security for four years
The charge was gross ignorance
didn’t know enough to plead innocence
Got out took a job avoided the draft
married a different kind of conflict
fighting each day to keep it from slipping away
Planted flowers don’t hold the ground
it takes a tree with stronger roots
to keep from blowing over in the wind
Left again with nothing to do but begin
knowing no matter what you learn
how to lose more often than how to win

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Awake in a muddled morass of fog thought


April 14, 2014  (I was 69)

Awake in a muddled morass of fog thought
want to paper it all in precious language
and finding logically more fog than thought
I turn instead to Heather McHugh who
(as Seuss would know) can orderly spew
fulminate might be her word
or one confetto used to pepper the absurd
She’s one of those writers who make it okay
that our skill is still one lifetime away

Saturday, April 13, 2019

I thought the geist a ghost


from this week in April, 2014  (I was 69)

I thought the geist a ghost
What did I know but the likeness of sound
I am amused that a Croatian spirit is but duh
Some shades apparently succinct
It might alter perceptions of me
when asked what I am
if I answered Duh
in Zagreb or in Omaha

Friday, April 12, 2019

I have staked out my territory


April 12, 2014  (I was 69)

I have staked out my territory
I know where you want to go
No fences are necessary
my scent keeps you away
I walk the perimeter of what I want
and every tree within is mine
it’s been a long time since I needed much
a fragrant shade where breezes cool
a log or two to heat my room
Each day less use for more than I can grow
Each night a new tale to sow
The electron library in the cloud
strikes me into universal virtuality
close enough to all I ever wanted to be
to bother straining for anything you might call reality

Thursday, April 11, 2019

The honest histrionics of D.H. Lawrence


April 11, 2011  (I was 66)

The honest histrionics of D.H. Lawrence
admit abhorrence of a humorless end
maniacal horror though it may be
emigrating to eternity

A ripe pomegranate in his hands
cracked he says
is a broken heart
a sacred broken heart in Tuscany