November 10, 1980 (I was 35)
When I used to be Catholic
prayers earned indulgences
Years ago people saved S&H Green Stamps
On the west coast people saved Blue Chip Stamps
Maybe some people still do that
but I don’t know where the hell you get the stamps anymore
I haven’t seen a premium catalog in years
As you received them one for every dime spent
you’d paste them thirty to a page into thirty-paged redemption books
Sometimes you’d buy an electric fry pan and get pages at a time
More often you got a few buying a buck’s worth of gas
I remember a crazy car dealer once on TV
He offered stamps on the down payment for new cars
You had to go to a redemption center to redeem the books
You could get redeemed for anything
a TV or another electric fry pan or a dozen golf balls
The redeemers wore aprons and rubber fingers
They flipped through your pages
handled the spit and wages of your accomplishment
They gave you the reward you saved for
a little bit of heaven with every visit
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