I don’t write in a journal everyday, but I have accumulated many entries over the past 50+ years beginning in 1966. Some items evolved into longer works. Among the leftovers little pieces survived. I thought a collection of these with a piece culled from the same date in a past year would make an interesting yearbook. The consistencies and inconsistencies of mind, skipping back and forth across time, provide varied perspectives. It is difficult to remember the context of the past we’ve lived; we also make suppositions about times that predate ourselves.

The few alterations from original drafts were to improve clarity. The worst of my work is not included. There remains enough mediocrity and immaturity to make me feel humble and you feel smart. There are also moments of accidental insight and incidental humor.

Author Stephen Crane referred to his little pieces as pills…apparently they were small and somewhat hard to swallow, but good for you.


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Sunday, August 9, 2020

If your father is already dead when you are young

August 9, 2010 (I was 65)

 

If your father is already dead when you are young

you lack the advantage of knowing his fuck-ups

It’s too easy to believe the appraisal of other men

in premature evaluation of his or your own talents

Those with titles are most presumptuous

uncle priest coach teacher fire chief policeman

all so dismissive in their ignorance

and so believable in their imperialism

Youth gives credence to their baseless judgments

 

Before they earn your disrespect you’ve become adult

It takes that many years

You have moved away from those individuals

but not from the idiot types they represent

In their expressions of authoritative certainty

they never realized the damage they propagated

never faced the critical regard of peer review

Now as an undead father I think I am more sensibly obvious

in my metaphorical expression of hypocrisies and failures

 

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