I don’t write in a journal everyday, but I have accumulated many entries over the past 50+ years beginning in 1966. Some items evolved into longer works. Among the leftovers little pieces survived. I thought a collection of these with a piece culled from the same date in a past year would make an interesting yearbook. The consistencies and inconsistencies of mind, skipping back and forth across time, provide varied perspectives. It is difficult to remember the context of the past we’ve lived; we also make suppositions about times that predate ourselves.

The few alterations from original drafts were to improve clarity. The worst of my work is not included. There remains enough mediocrity and immaturity to make me feel humble and you feel smart. There are also moments of accidental insight and incidental humor.

Author Stephen Crane referred to his little pieces as pills…apparently they were small and somewhat hard to swallow, but good for you.


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Thursday, August 20, 2020

Personal Physics

 

from this week in August, 1991  (I was 46)

 

         Personal Physics

Knowing the importance of will and the force of control

Believing the strength of self-induced motor stress

Understanding the absorption of focused orientation and

Having the basic food-security relationship criteria

Has not broken the material reality anchor chain from me.

My escapes are without reform, my recidivism chronic.

I’ve created then ignored the crises which momentarily

Made my impoverished view of reality whole.

 

The paraphernalia of pharmacology and hypnotism work for me

But in the end I do not seem to work for me.

In the natural awakening state I do not awake awake enough.

Each day’s attempt to learn addiction to will sinks in addiction to non-will.

My little misery is so precious I cannot let it be.

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