I don’t write in a journal everyday, but I have accumulated many entries over the past 50+ years beginning in 1966. Some items evolved into longer works. Among the leftovers little pieces survived. I thought a collection of these with a piece culled from the same date in a past year would make an interesting yearbook. The consistencies and inconsistencies of mind, skipping back and forth across time, provide varied perspectives. It is difficult to remember the context of the past we’ve lived; we also make suppositions about times that predate ourselves.

The few alterations from original drafts were to improve clarity. The worst of my work is not included. There remains enough mediocrity and immaturity to make me feel humble and you feel smart. There are also moments of accidental insight and incidental humor.

Author Stephen Crane referred to his little pieces as pills…apparently they were small and somewhat hard to swallow, but good for you.


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Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Never Again

August 4, 2001  (I was 56)

 

                  Never Again

Upon hearing that Senator Tom Daschle’s father

lost a lifetime of his paintings in a fire.

 

Never again.

The force that loaded hues from the palette

then carried the brush across the vision to the canvas

was gone.

The rightness of the stroke

applied in unconscious confidence

to make the unseen visible,

lost in a moment’s speculative hesitation.

The fire consumed the house.

The first thought after the panic,

“Everyone’s alive,”

was not quite true.

A hundred creations that counted the years

of gifts of self to the self

were reduced to funereal ash.

“Only things,” the brave perspective

offered to others measuring their losses.

But hesitation grew from speculation

of impermanence to indifference

for gifts to the self of the self.

The fire consumed the house.

Never again color brushed against vision;

everyone alive, only things.

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